Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
