party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
