just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
whose parrot is this?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
