she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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