Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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