I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
