I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
