epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
