Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
