Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize