I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
