In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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