Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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