i always forget guys have bellybuttons
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
