Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
