Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
