what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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