conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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