Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
