I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I made him laugh his dick is mine
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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