Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
