It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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