Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
