Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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