Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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