Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
