alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
