I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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