It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
