We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
