Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
