I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
