uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
COCAINE IS GR8
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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