I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
