Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
