I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
