they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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