Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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