The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
