I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
