My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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