Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
