Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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