shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
