evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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