he wants to bone in the snuggie
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
