Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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