Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
