This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
