i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
